Marriage as universal institution takes on drastically different meanings depending on geography and culture. For many African men, the reality of marriage today often feels more like a burden than a partnership especially when compared with marital dynamics in parts of Europe. In Europe, marriage is commonly approached as a union of equal responsibility. Household tasks, parenting, and financial contributions are shared based on mutual agreement and capacity. Many European couples operate from a joint bank account, reflecting a spirit of unity and transparency in financial matters.
In stark contrast, many African marriages are still rooted in traditional expectations that place overwhelming responsibility on the man. He is expected to provide financially, emotionally, and materially regardless of his circumstances. Even when couples claim to be modern, separate bank accounts and separate lives are common. More concerning is the societal perception when a man in Africa loses his job or struggles financially. Rather than receiving support and encouragement, he is often labeled “lazy” or “irresponsible” and sometimes even by his own spouse. This can lead to emotional abuse, disrespect, and breakdown of the relationship.
In some cases, the woman may take control of the home if she is earning but rather than uplift her partner, she may mock or emasculate him, worsening the man’s emotional and psychological state. This pattern reflects deeper social issues that many fear are normalized in African societies. While no culture is perfect, these contrasts beg the question: are African men set up to fail in marriage by societal expectations that lack balance, empathy, and partnership?
Until cultural shifts address these imbalances, marriage in many African contexts may continue to feel less like a union of love and more like a contract of duty with one party bearing the heavier weight.
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